I’ve told my story a million times and each time I find myself triggering new emotions and memories. 2014 was the worst year of my life because my Mum was diagnosed with a Glioblastoma grade 4 brain tumour. It was such a devastating time for my family and I and it came as such as shock.
Mum was diagnosed in April 2014 after collapsing and having a seizure, during this month she had major brain surgery to remove 95% of the tumour, which quickly returned even whilst receiving radiotherapy. Spending months in and out of hospital, bed bound losing the use of her legs, arms, speech and worst of all, her emotions and personality, as a family it was the most testing time of our lives. Mum was admitted into the Loros Hospice during September 2014 for end of life care and on September 15th I was by her side when she took her last breath. I can’t explain the emotion I felt that morning. I had watched my Mum suffer and scream in pain and I felt an overwhelming sense of relief for her when she past.
For the next few months I relied on alcohol and junk food to get me through my grief. That year I had gone from a size 12 weighing 11 stone to a size 16 weighing 13 stone 4. I hated the person I had become, both mentally and physically. I felt as though I had completely lost myself and I knew I needed to change.
February 2015 was my turning point. Over the next 5 months I worked out five times per week, sometimes 8 training twice per day, I trained twice per week with a personal trainer and weight trained three times per week by myself. I became completely obsessed with the way that fitness made me feel, it was so refreshing. It was an outlet for my grief, anytime I felt upset or angry I would turn to the gym. I also totally changed my diet and lifestyle, I quit drinking and I ate clean. Over 5 months I lost 4 stone now a size 8 and the fittest and strongest I have ever been in my life, I can say I truly found myself in fitness.
I now work with other women to help them achieve their goals and offer health and fitness advice.
Fitness became my support system, by adding weight to my shoulders physically I removed weight mentally. Fitness is my final major project inspiration and my collection will lend itself to the idea of a piece being supported by framework, working in mixed media (concrete and metal) taking elements of my gym environment and portraying into my collection through positioning and placement.
This blog will record my progress.